Pregnant Road Rage

When Alex and I drive down the street and see a car with either a bumper sticker or hanging sign that proudly says, "Baby on Board", we chuckle.
Alex's witty response to that is, "We weren't planning on hitting you either way!"
I agree.

I asked Alex today if the "Baby on Board" sign had a hidden meaning like, "Don't honk at me, I finally got my infant to sleep", or "I haven't slept in months so don't cut me off". We agreed that by displaying a "Baby on Board" sign, these people are just proud parents. I think that if people wanted to say things like, "I'm driving the spit-up wagon; don't cut me off", they would with a nifty bumper sticker.

Alex and I don't care much for bumper stickers. The Fox Family Subaru had a Dalhousie University sticker on its rear windshield for a while and our Mazda had a Queens University sticker mounted in the same spot. Both stickers had to be removable and they were. After a long stint at Dalhousie, and thousands of dollars spent there, I felt that there was no longer a need to feel proud enough to advertise them. Don't get me started on Dal. Grump!
Also, I had a magnetic pink ribbon on Alex's old car and someone stole it. Who steals a Breast Cancer magnet off the back of my car? This happened at MSVU so I can't even blame Dal on this one.
Now we keep the sticker advertisement off our cars. No one cares what we've given money too. We don't care anymore either. We just give the money and hope that it helps who/whatever it needs to help.

My father in law has/had some good stickers on the rear windshield of his car. He bought the car in California when the family lived there in the late 80s. The car is not quite old enough to be an antique but its great and with lots of TLC it runs really well. In fact, the car is about the same age as my younger sister, Wendy, and both have held up very nicely. (Don't tell my father in law but I think my sister looks much nicer than the car. She rarely needs her oil changed and she has less rock-related dings on her hood).
Anyway, there is a Canadian flag sticker on the rear windscreen which I'm sure he stuck on there after he got the car. Good to show some Canadian pride while driving the highways of southern California. The other tag he had was a little sticker that says, "Satan (Hearts) SUVs". I loved it. I think he had to remove it when he was driving somewhere where he feared he may get beat up for displaying such profanity.  (Ian, if you are reading this, please bring it back! I love it! I got your back. People don't like to mess with a preggo.)

As mentioned in previous posts, I'm walking around like a grinning idiot. This doesn't mean that I'm driving around like one too. In fact, my hormones are responsible for my insane road rage. I have absolutely no patience for anyone on the road. This doesn't mean that I'm being unsafe. I actually believe that I am the World's safest driver. I have to believe this. I've been in many car accidents (none of which had me behind the wheel), and after a long battle of road related PTSD, I have trained myself to believe that I am amazing behind the wheel. Lucky for my insurance rates, I have yet to be proven wrong.
I don't have patience for many things but unsafe driving really grinds my gears (literally: I drive stick!).
Like everyone, I have a few pet peeves when it comes to lack of driver courtesy. I don't get really pissed off unless someone is doing something really stupid. I hate being honked at when I'm waiting to turn left at an intersection and I can't see. I know the culprit driver's punishment does not fit the crime but some people need to get the finger sometimes. I don't want to die and I'm not going to trust anyone. Don't honk at me or you will see my chubby middle finger bust out of my sunroof with the gusto of a Jersey Shore fist pump.
For all other perceived driver sins, I don't do anything that drastic. I usually just yell to myself, "What is this? Rookie night?" and zoom away.

Recently, I've been impatient with everyone. I still don't fly the bird unless I'm honked at in an intersection but I have been driving with urgency (duh! I have to pee all the time!). This has made me think about some good bumper stickers to stick to a preggo-mobile. For example, "Don't F*ck with me! I'm pregnant and I have to go to the bathroom now!" and "Preggo on Board: Kindly pull over and make a clear path to the closest ice cream shoppe".

Alex does most of the driving when we are together. I'm sure this is because he can't stand the road rage. He also doesn't let me stick my middle finger out his sunroof (no fun! I get it, he doesn't want to get rear ended in his fancy car). At least I'm not doing what my mother jokes about doing in her road rage moments. She likes the idea of hanging out her window and yelling, "My husband wants to beat you up". Alex is a lucky man because I would never do this. My Dad, (if this ever happened), probably not so much.