"Burping is going to become a huge part of your life"- My Mother

If there is one thing that pregnancy affords women, its the right to be constantly gassy.
I don't quite know why the incubation of another human being promotes such flatulence but apparently it does.
Note: To all my followers who don't think farts are funny, you can skip this post. Farts and burps have been a large part of my upbringing and I will always find gas funny.

Growing up I was always gassy. Back in the swimming days, my burps would put truckers to shame. They grossed out my fellow carpoolers at times but I didn't care. Class was not something I was trying to achieve; kicking ass in the pool was. If 5:30am practices resulted in two hours of my oatmeal bouncing around in my guts and producing monster burps, then so be it. Everyone else could eat my wake (and burpee air).
After I quit swimming, the burps slowed. In fact, I don't remember belching like a trucker after about Grade 10. Much to my mother's request, I conditioned myself to express my burps in a more 'lady-like' fashion. I could still roar one out every now and then but for the most part, I kept my burps to myself. My Sister and Dad still have burp-offs to see who can make the house shake. Although my Dad has over 30 years on Wendy, she can really blow someone over with her high wind. She's got the mad skills I no longer possess. On the other end, I still have her beat. In fact, I have everyone (except Alex) beat.

Farts. A nuisance. Uncomfortable, stinky and an unfortunate side effect of Celiac Disease.
I've always been a great farter. In fact, in grade 4, I ripped one in the middle of story time while the whole class sat on the carpet and listened to the one of many works of Canadian author, Gordon Korman. I defended myself by arguing to the class that gas is natural and although I apologized for the smell, I was not going to sacrifice my comfort so the rest of the group could sit there stink-free. Mwa-ha-ha-ha! No tummy ache for me! I still had swim practice after school and there was going to be even more gas as a result of that.

In University, I was roomed with the BEST roommate ever!
Kristin and I were a match made in heaven. Kris, if you are reading this, I apologize for the embarrassment in advance but I love you and I truly believe that you are still one of the best things to ever happen to me.
During the first week of school, we knew we were going to be instant besties. She was (and could very well still be) vegan; she and I listened to the same music; we loved the same movies and TV shows; and above all else, she was a fantastic listener and a great friend.
Best of all was the fact that she was vegan. Being a consumer of only vegetables and legumes is a wonderful way to live your life. I totally encourage everyone to try it out even if you are a meat lover. I'm not vegan however I have tried the lifestyle .
I digress.
The downfall to being vegan is the gas. There was lots of gas. Between Kristin's diet and the cafeteria food they were feeding us in Howe Hall, we could have powered the entire University on our farts alone. To make light of a 'stinky' situation, Kris and I occasionally played a game called "fart-tennis". The rules are simple. One person 'serves' and the other person has 5 minutes to return. This game was hours of fun until one (or both) of us had to poop. At that point the room was so stinky that we would have to vacate the premises anyway. Luckily we never kept score.

When I was suffering from the beginning stages of my Celiac disease I found the gas unbearably uncomfortable. Everything was uncomfortable.  My intestines were rotting from the inside out and the farts were simply the evidence of it. At the time, I was also diagnosed with Lactose Intolerance. Eww!
Poor Alex.
We were living together at the time and he has dealt with a lot of farts since then.
This is not to say that I was the only guilty party in our stink-house. He can hold a theoretical candle to my stinky-pants. (There will be no real candle holding when there are farts present. Some dorks living on the floor above Kris and I in rez learned that lesson the hard way by setting their bed on fire while igniting their farts). Oh, to be eighteen again.

I love all things gassy. Alex, soda water (which we now have our own carbonator to make our own), my Sister, Kristin, my stove, and soon 'Peanut'.

I was talking to my Mom about babies and what nighttime feedings are like. She told me that she and my Dad had a clever routine for feeding me when I was a baby and it included lots of burping. She then told me that "Burping is going to become a huge part of [my] life". I corrected her that it already has. Professionally burping another human being is going to be a new and nifty experience for both Alex and I. Babies come with spit-up and colic too. That should be a reasonably okay time. The good news is that I'm well trained in all areas gas so I know that having tummy rubs, back rubs/pats and eventually Ovol works really well to calm anything down (except maybe breast milk from five-alarm chill night).