There is No Prize for a Perfect Pregnancy or Being a Perfect Parent

The reward is the baby.

My second trimester has proven to be alright. I'm still uncomfortable in a few areas and my body never ceases to amaze me by its ever malleable shape.
As a Mom-to-be, I understand that parenting is an activity shared by me and my partner. The pregnancy is all me. Much to my relief, Alex doesn't experience sympathy pregnancy. I couldn't imagine the 'man-version' of this. I complain and grump but I'm sure Alex would take this to a whole new level. Trust me, I've tended to the infamous (and apparently life-threatening) 'man-cold'.
That being said, he is not whiny by nature and I am forever fortunate that he is as wonderful as he is.

My pregnancy is not in any way special. I am simply following in the ancestral footsteps of my biology and continuing to procreate. This doesn't mean its not miraculous. Every pregnancy is miraculous just not particulary special.
As I experience the hormonal roller coaster, I recall that this can't be so bad; cave people did it and our species still drinks Diet Coke and invents nifty time-saving gadgets like the Slap Chop.
Well, in a world with Diet Coke and the Slap Chop, shouldn't everything be easier?
It is.
Alex doesn't have to endure a the firey wrath of grunts because he didn't kill a buffalo for dinner tonight, and I don't have to sleep in fear of someone stealing my cheetah pelt "maternity" dress.
By having all the luxuries comforts of the North American Twenty-First century lifestyle, shouldn't pregnancy be a breeze?
It isn't.

Nowadays we are having children much later in life and we are technically living in a toxic utopia. I am included in this categorization. In cave people days, at 27, I would be a grandparent and yes, my 100 year old house still has Asbestos somewhere.
More than playing roulette with Mother Nature and filling our homes with cancer-causing chemicals, we, as women, have created an even more toxic environment for ourselves. This is what I believe is the smug persona of the "perfect mother".
It begins in pregnancy (around the 17th-18th week). We have successfully graduated from the first trimester with confirmation that we are actually creating somewhat healthy, human spawn. Apparently, while we continue to freak out on the inside about all the things that can still possibly go wrong, to our peers and family, we present a phony facade that we are indeed doing the best for our babies. We have decided to eat only organic food; we have thrown out all chemical cleaners in our house; and we have decided to sacrifice our monthly pedicure for fear that the formaldehyde in the polish will make our babies stupid.
This image of self-sacrifice is awful and in my opinion completely anti-feminist. I'm not going to go into the feminist discussion of this post but I'll humor you with the rest.

Why do we care what other people are thinking about our pre-parenting skills?
So my kid eats worms, they won't kill him and he looks so cute. His poops late might be a fright but he is following his instincts and protecting himself (or soon learning to protect himslelf). Also, there are way worse things he could be eating (like your favorite untouched nail polish you were hoping to get painted on your toes after he was born but haven't had the time or sleep to endure the appointment).

Trust yourself and your doctor. I have. Again, CAVE PEOPLE DID THIS! I AM NOT THE FIRST MOTHER EVER NOR AM I DOING THIS WRONG!
I am doing what I can to stay sane throughout my pregnancy and I truly hope that 'Peanut' will learn by example. Yes, that includes taking Tylenol for unbearable headaches, pedicures for my ugly feet and eating anything and everything (so long as its gluten free).
Generally, children learn by example. They learn what appropriate behavior is through their parents. Alex and I care about our health and happiness. We make decisions based on logical reason (and at times, ravenous hunger), and we have already created a safe and happy home.
Not that there's a prize for it or you care or anything.
To all the pregnant women out there who feel the need to "keep up with the Crandalls", don't bother. We want you to have healthy and comfortable pregnancies; aside from that, we don't give a damn about your organic lifestyle or how you raise your kids (so long as they aren't bullying ours in the playground).