Before I begin telling you all about this day, I want to remind you that I am fine. Everything I am about to tell you really happened but I want you to all know that everything is just fine.
Now that I've scared the pants off everyone, here we go.
Do you ever get that feeling that you know your day is going to suck? Do you ever wake up in the morning and just sense it? I don't. I like to look at everyday as a new beginning and that even the most crappiest of mornings can still make the rest of my day great. Our days are what we make of them (to some extent).
For me, my day was not okay right from the get-go.
The Toronto Star sent us a note saying that they were going to be sending us free papers everyday for G-d knows how long. This is a tactic that they often use to gain subscriptions. By having copious amounts of newsprint in the house, I gain the headache of having to clean it up and recycle perfectly good paper everyday. Alex and I hate waste so we make an effort to read the paper before I dump it in the blue bin. Because Alex is often the first awake, he will run downstairs and open the front door to see if our paper has arrived. Today it had, and the slamming of the front door after the paper was discovered could have woken the dead. It did. I was up. Not a big concern in my opinion. I don't mind waking up and this way, I got to have breakfast with Alex. He sees it as a WIN but in my honest opinion, I could probably have used a little more beauty sleep.
So, Alex went to work and I puttered around the house until I decided to go to the gym. I thought it would be a nice gesture to volunteer to team teach with my friend Becky today. We taught Attack together last Friday and the stereo was broken. This was awful but we managed to get through with energy and enthusiasm. I figured that if (perchance) the stereo hadn't been fixed then she could use some support. (I'm pretty nice, eh?).
I got into my car and made my way to the gym.
Here are some things you should know about my car:
I drive a 2009 Saturn (Opal/Holden) Astra. It is THE BEST car I have ever driven in my life because it is one of the safest on the road and it is BRIGHT RED!!!!
Why did I want a car that's bright red you ask? Well, red is, in my opinion, the fastest colour on the road. Cops see red; I see red; EVERYONE sees red. It is no longer true that red raises insurance rates. In fact, both Alex and I drive bright red cars and our insurance premiums are quite reasonable.
Anyway, the point is that if you can't see my red car, you are either colour blind or not paying attention to driving. The latter scenario was the case today.
I'm driving up Coxwell, right outside of Toronto East General Hospital when I come to a stop behind a line up of cars at a red light. I look in my rear view mirror and I see a guy picking a pimple and not slowing down. I don't have much room in front of me so I just grit my teeth, push extra hard on my break pedal and...CRUNCH/POP!!!!!
F*CK!
I pull over. The guy behind me pulls over.
He's a 17 year old kid with his G2 (graduated licence permit- meaning that he can drive alone but is still a rookie).
First I see the front bumper of his car and it looks like he's done some serious damage to what I can only assume is his parents' Toyota Yaris. I turn and look at my back bumper and I have some minor scratches and a tiny ding. Not really a big deal. My Astra is a tank and I'm very thankful for that.
I look at the kid and he's shaking. He's piss-scared. He looked at my belly and really freaked out. He had not only bumped up his car (and scratched the candy apple red paint off my rear bumper) but he had committed a cardinal sin by hitting a pregnant woman. In all honesty, I was fine. I had a small headache and I was pissed but nothing worth getting my already tight panties in a twist over. I was stationary before he hit me and he wasn't going very fast so there wasn't much physical damage to me that he could do.
At that moment I knew his parents were going to give him hell for bumping the car. I didn't want to be the one to loose my sh*t on him so I asked him if he had his information (insurance, licence, phone number, name...). He was still in shock so I got his name, phone number, and licence plate number and sent him on his way. Although unlucky to have hit someone, this kid was hell-a lucky he hit me (even pregnant).
So my poor little car has some boo-boos. Again, I'm fine but my day was on a slippery slope downward.
I got to the gym and sure enough, the stereo hadn't been fixed. This meant that Becky and I had to teach using a tiny boom box and no microphone. A woman at 37 weeks still teaching Attack and doing it without a mic is crazy. This was a spectacle for sure. For anyone interested, I'll be doing it again on Friday. Hopefully on Friday no one will hit my car.
After class, Becky thanked me profusely and I drove her home.
I was scheduled to train my sister-in-law so I made my way to my in-laws' house to meet Jess.
There is something about Jess. She has magical powers. She can ALWAYS make me happy (even if I'm in the most sh*tty of sh*tiest moods). I was so happy to see her.
I told her about my morning and she asked me questions about my kitty. We giggled and I had forgotten all about my car and the stereo. I even forgot that I was ravenous hungry from my morning workout. It was bliss...until we got home.
Jess wanted to see where my car had its boo-boo so I showed her. Just as we leaned down to look at the scratches a bird swooped over our heads and blasted my car with what I can only describe as the WORST bird diarrhea I have ever seen. We both stepped back (thankful that neither of us were shat on), and went into the house to finish exercising. They say that getting pooped on by a bird is lucky. We were luckier not to be pooped on but I really could have used all the luck I could get today.
You'd think that at this point of my day, I would have been ready to loose it. Nope. I was cool. After lunch with Jess, I went to pick up some groceries for dinner and get my car washed. I could no longer tell what was scratch and what was poop so I figured that a car wash would cheer me up and make my car look better.
It felt better to have a clean car. I could actually see the scratches and bump and knowing where they were and how bad they were gave me some comfort. There is no big damage. I can touch everything up with some paint and after someone really smacks into me, then I will replace my bumper.
I decided that now was a good time to head home; while I was on a high note.
My car (although it had a rough day), looked like a shiny red candy apple. I was feeling hungry and tired but generally okay.
As I turned onto my street, the final hurdle of my day was upon me. There was a tractor and a giant dirt truck blocking the street. Fine! I drove around the block only to find that there was no parking anywhere.
That's when I lost my cool.
Picture this if you will, my car is blocking an intersection, a very pregnant woman gets out of the car and throws a monster hissy fit at the gentlemen in the truck and tractor. The two men just looked at me while I whaled on them. "I'm 37 F*cking weeks pregnant! I haven't eaten anything other than a granola bar since 8am...!!! I have four summer tires still in the trunk of my F*cking car that I need to move into my shed and I AM NOT GOING TO PARK ANYWHERE BUT RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY F*CKING HOUSE...YOU HEAR ME????!!!!!"
The men politely moved so I could get my car in the spot I wanted. They were speechless.
I didn't apologize. I just grabbed my groceries, gym bag, purse, Emile Henry lasagna pan (that was at my in-laws house from Sunday night dinner), and I waddled into my house.
So my day sucked. There are going to be lots of days that suck.
I also have a lot to be thankful for intertwined into my sucky day. The main thing I would like to get across is that I am so thankful that my car is as safe and sturdy as it is. Although Saturn is no longer a car company (hence why we got mine so cheaply), I am proud to say that Alex and I couldn't have purchased a more reliable and safer car. I feel good knowing that I'm going to be safe in my tank with 'Peanut'.
I forgot to mention that I've been in a major car accident in a Saturn before and it saved both the lives of me and my Mom. The car didn't hold up so well but my Mom and I walked away from the accident with bumps, bruises, a perfectly broken nose (right on alignment), and a little PTSD (that wore off once I got my license). The accident was pretty severe and the fact that my Mom and got away from that experience with just bumps and bruises says a lot about the safety of our vehicle. It sacrificed itself for us and my hat goes off to Saturn for building not one amazing car for me but two.
The next time you see my little red tank, you should know that like its owner (and the baby inside her), although we may look small we are exceptionally resilient and tougher than we seem. We can handle the bumps and bruises of a sucky day but please don't present us with people working on our street. That's where we draw the line.
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